


This Is How I Disappear

by YourChimera



Series: A Wasteland's Rose [2]
Category: Fallout (Video Games)
Genre: Explicit Language, Flashbacks, Gen, Ghouls, Minor Character Death, Minor Violence, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Pregnancy, Teen Pregnancy
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-02-27
Updated: 2017-04-14
Packaged: 2018-09-27 05:34:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 5,931
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9977147
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/YourChimera/pseuds/YourChimera
Summary: Rose and her group of friends are on a journey to get as far from the Capital Wasteland as possible. Their destination: the Commonwealth. On their way to their destination, they go through one misfortune after another before they make it to Diamond City. Rose is in a constant state of regret as she wonders what it would have been like had she stayed and at least told Arthur Maxson the truth, Dr. Li is hiding a secret from everyone that could place a few lives in jeopardy, Vanessa and Mila are either too naive or oblivious to realize the heavy tension that has clouded the group, and after certain events, Mira can no longer stand to be around Rose and wants nothing for their journey to end so that she can get away from her.This story will have two different POVs eventually. Rating is also T for now, but it may jump up to M. Sorry if the summary sucks, I tried my best to capture the main points without spoiling anything! (Which is really hard actually, no wonder books switched from summaries on the back to reviews)





	1. Prologue: Promise (2281)

**Author's Note:**

> For those that didn't catch that this is a sequel, that's alright! I've written it so that you don't really need to read it (although I would slightly recommend it just so that you'll have a better connection to the characters). A friend of mine pointed out that "Danger Days" is a My Chemical Romance song title, so I just went with it and decided to name the rest as MCR songs. TFW your old emo self unknowingly breaks through in your writing. Anyway, enjoy the Prologue! My aim is for weekly updates on Sunday.
> 
> "Lies and secrets...they are like cancer in the soul. They eat what is good and only leave behind destruction."  
> \- Cassandra Claire, Clockwork Prince

            Rose stood in front of the mirror in the clinic. She never liked to look at her reflections, but now she couldn’t _not_ look at herself – especially at her stomach. She had her shirt pulled up slightly and looked at it intently in hopes that she would see something different.

            “You won’t notice anything, for now, might as well pull your shirt back down,” Cade said as he walked into the clinic.

            Startled, she let out a small squeal as she jumped around to face him, “S-sorry…” she apologized. “Cade, if I tell you something is it still confidential?” she asked.

            “It depends,” Cade answered truthfully as he sat down on a bar stool and stared at her. “Are you going to tell me who the father is? If it’s a Maxson, we should know,” he commented.

            “Aren’t I allowed to have some things confidential?” Rose feigned an angry expression as she forced herself to not get worked up over his suspicion.

            “It’s more so to help the baby better. It’s always better to have both parent’s medical history for this type of stuff,” Cade explained as he crossed his arms over his chest and scowled at her.

            “Okay, fuck you,” Rose laughed lightly as she physically relaxed and leaned back against the wall, “Fine, you want to know? The baby’s dad _is_ – do I have a yes for my first question?” she asked rather than finishing the sentence and revealing the father of her unborn child.

            Cade nodded, “Of course,” he replied, eager to hear the name of her unborn baby’s father.

            Rose leaned back on the wall and looked down at the ground, “Maxson. I’m expecting Arthur’s kid,” she finally admitted weakly. She felt her cheeks tint red after she had spoken, she didn’t think it would be that hard to admit.

            “Shit,” Cade gasped out as he leaned forward to get a better look at her, “You’re planning on leaving, aren’t you?” he asked.

            “I was told by Elder Lyons when I first became a Squire that I was allowed to leave at any time. I’ve even seen people walk out of here before. The Brotherhood can’t stop me,” Rose declared as she pushed herself off of the wall.

            “That was different. They had nothing to offer the Brotherhood. Most importantly, they weren’t expecting a kid. A Maxson at that,” Cade tried to make her see reason but she shook her head at him.

            “He’s still young; he can find someone else,” Rose spat at him. She let out a small sigh, “Look, I just need to get out of here. This isn’t the Brotherhood that I was first introduced to. And if I stay? What will they do to me once they find out that there’s a future Maxson in here?” she asked as she pointed to her stomach. “There’ll most likely make us get married or whatever equivalent the Brotherhood has and I can’t be married to someone when they don’t love me,” she answered her own question. She could feel the hot tears pooling at the corners of her eyes, but she made no move to wipe them away.

            “That’s not-”

            “Oh, yes, it is! It’s always been _Sarah_ and besides, I’ve done my research. There have been a few cases where something like this happened and the couple was forced to be married,” Rose shook slightly once she finished and bit her lip to prevent herself from becoming an emotional mess in front of Cade.

            “Let me,” Cade paused for a second, “Let me just get this all straight for a second. You want to leave because 1) you think the Brotherhood has changed for the worse and 2) because you’re pregnant and want to avoid a marriage that’s not built on love. Is that all true?” he asked as he looked her over a couple of times.

            She gave him a feeble nod, “Can you please just tell me if I can make a long journey? I need to get out of here, and fast,” she said as she wrapped her arms around herself. She found it hard to believe that not that long ago she loved being in the Citadel, now she felt that if she stayed here for a moment longer she would suffocate.

            “Well, you’re not that far in your pregnancy,” Cade said as he got up from the chair and walked towards the cabinet that held her information. “You’re actually really healthy, physically that is. Mentally, you are… Well, let’s just say that there was a reason why I didn’t let you go out onto the field for so long,” he said as he reread her information. “Yes, I think you’re safe to make a journey far from here,” he finally answered his question once he finished reading her folder.

            “And you won’t tell anyone about me being pregnant?” Rose asked as she took a tentative step towards him.

            “I won’t,” Cade admitted finally after he thought it over for a good couple of seconds.

            “God, thank you so much-”

            “I’ll give you until Arthur becomes the Elder,” Cade interrupted her as he closed her folder.

            “Shit, at the rate this is going, it could be any day he’s made Elder,” Rose groaned as she buried her face in her left hand and clutched her shirt with the other.

            “Look, you can’t tell me something like this and expect me to _not_ tell anyone. But, because I like you, Rose, I’m going to wait. If he becomes Elder, I’ll tell him and if he doesn’t then I won’t tell him. The information will also be in your folder so if anyone decides to pull it out and look at it, they’ll see that you were pregnant before you disappeared,” Cade told her as he slipped the folder in its rightful place in the cabinet.

            “If you like me so much, you’d burn that folder now,” Rose grumbled quietly. Louder, she told him, “Thanks for everything Cade.”

            “Just,” Cade said, which caused Rose to pause in the doorway, “Just stay safe.”


	2. Chapter One: Mistakes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "Good judgment comes from experience, and experience comes from bad judgment."  
> \- Rita Mae Brown

            Rose followed in line beside Madison; her gun was out in her hands as they both stepped cautiously around the feral ghouls. She was certain that at any moment they could stumble across a ghoul that wasn’t actually dead. The light in the run-down building was just enough for her to see where she was going, but it was nearly impossible to tell if she was about to step on a body part.

            “Shit,” Madison hissed as she slipped and fell onto the ground.

            Before Rose could help the fallen doctor back up onto her feet, she heard a groan and then shuffling. “Fuck!” she exclaimed, unable to detect where it was coming from in the big room. She raised her gun and looked through the night vision scope. A sigh of relief escaped her lips and she returned to help up Madison. “It’s just two of them, but they’re in that cage,” she explained as she pointed at the far-right corner of the room even though Madison couldn’t see it.

            Madison gave a tight smile, “We got lucky that these ghouls are all dead,” she commented before she tossed a nod in Rose’s direction. “Come on, we need to go on,” she finally said after a moment of no one moving.

            Rose gave her a shaky nod and placed one hand over her stomach, “The others might have already gotten out,” she stated after they finally made it out of the room. The air in the hallway was stale, but it didn’t reek of rotting flesh as badly as the room had.

            “You and I both know that Vanessa wouldn’t leave until she knew that she had found all of us,” Madison argued as she continued her trek down the hall, making sure to peer into every room they passed.

            Rose let out a small huff before hurrying after her. “I just hope that Fawkes has the two girls. Who knows what type of horrors they found,” she said after she had caught up with her.

            Madison nodded, “The two girls may be good with guns, but they aren’t any good when they’re swarmed,” she agreed.

            Before all of this had happened, the group had been checking out a hospital for shelter and medicine. It had appeared empty when Mira and Vanessa had checked it out together, but once they all made it into the cafeteria it seemed as if the whole building came to life. Everyone immediately broke off in different directions to avoid being eaten alive by the ferals. Rose had grabbed hold of Madison in all of the commotion and together they had taken shelter in an office-like room on the third floor that had been stripped of all furniture.

            “I have exactly thirty-seven rounds for my gun. What about you?” Rose asked as she checked to make sure all of her barrels were full. “Oh great, that’s right. You don’t have a weapon,” she winced as she realized that she was partnered up with the only person in their group that didn’t carry a weapon. “Great, I’m low on ammo and you have none to begin with. Life’s just peachy here in the Wasteland,” she said sarcastically as she laughed dryly.

            Madison rolled her eyes at the girl, “Which is why you should be leading,” she said as she gave Rose a look that said ‘I always have to pull all of the weight around here and no one ever tries to help.’

            “Fine, fine. Let the pregnant lady through,” Rose said as she weaved past Madison and began to lead her friend out of the old, prewar hospital. The situation she currently found herself in reminded her of an instance when she served the Enclave. She let out a faint noise of disgust as she remembered everything that she had done that night.

_“What are we waiting for?” one of the older boys asked out loud as he pushed himself to the front of the group and stared down at his leader. She knew he thought he was better than her, better than the whole child unit under the Enclave. She knew that he was also just a very cocky brat, but she didn’t say that._

_“Hospitals aren’t safe,” she replied quietly as she lowered her binoculars and slowly turned to face him. Because he had been so close to her, she had to take a step back just so she could look up at him properly._

_He looked confused for a moment as he scrunched up his face, “What?” he finally settled on._

_Rose rolled her eyes, “You should listen to what the Enclave tells us,” she said with little emotion as she returned to peering out the window. “According to the Enclave, the hospitals are usually filled with an even lower type of abomination – if they are even occupied by abominations,” she explained as she carefully studied the hospital in the distance. “We saw that group meet a man in front of that hospital. He managed to convince that group to come inside the building too easily. Either they’re with him, or he tells very good lies. Sadly, I have a feeling that they’re all one big happy family. Regardless of that, we have an order to kill on sight,” she said._

_The same boy didn’t seem impressed at all, hell none of them did, but there was nothing she could do about that. Orders were orders, and if it meant she had to kill someone to live, then she would obey in a heartbeat. “We’ll prepare for an assault as soon as the sun sets,” she declared as she turned to face them._

_“You have no idea what you’re doing,” the boy barked at her. “You’re gonna get us all killed making us go in there when we can hardly even see what we’re getting into,” he snapped._

_A younger girl jumped in, “She got a kid killed last time she was put in charge,” she announced as she pointed a finger at her._

_Rose narrowed her eyes, “You don’t even know what happened!” she hissed defensively. Why were they turning on her like this?_ You shot their friend. _A little voice in the back of her head said._ I had to shoot him, he was disobeying orders.

_She could see the anger and confusion that formed on the other children’s faces as they realized what she had been accused of was true. “You’re not going to deny it?” yelled out the youngest in the group. Only seven, but he was the best shooter in the whole squadron._

_“The boy was refusing to obey orders. If he had gotten out, then the rest of the unit would have been punished because of him. I did what I had to do,” she mumbled the last part quietly as she averted her gaze to the ground._

_There was a moment of silence that had enveloped the group before another child turned to the first boy and asked, “What’s your plan?”_

_The boy couldn’t help the smug look on his face as he glanced at her. “We’ll attack while there’s light. I’m not sending you all out there if you can’t see,” he said the last part as if he wanted to get a reaction out of her. She just rolled her eyes and returned back to looking at the hospital through her binoculars. Why couldn’t she remember his name? Ah, wait. EJ-73._

            “Why aren’t you using that pipboy that Vanessa found for you? We could use the light from it,” Madison said as she almost tripped over a box that had been sitting haphazardly in the middle of the hallway.

            “I would, it’s just I’m scared we’ll draw out more ghouls than we can handle. You know?” Rose explained quietly. She could hear heavy breathing around the corner and it was only coming closer. Immediately, she turned around and pushed Madison into an open room and pressed her body up against the wall beside the doorway. Madison gave her a dirty look, so she mouthed ‘feral.’

            Rose listened to the movement as it came closer, it sounded too organized to be a feral. _Perhaps it’s a non-feral ghoul? Or it could be someone from our group!_ Rose resisted her desire to look out from the safety beyond the doorway. Whatever was out there was right there and if it was a feral, she was cornered in a room that didn’t even have an escape route.

            “Guys?” Fawkes rasped as he stepped into Rose’s vision and she immediately felt the uneasy weight of tension lift off of her shoulders.

            “Thank god we found you and not some feral,” Rose breathed out in relief as she and Madison peeled themselves off of the wall.

            “Just you two?” Fawkes asked. He wasn’t surprised to have run into someone that didn’t want to rip his face off.

            “Yeah,” Rose replied as she gave a look around for any of the others. _Is he all alone?_

            “Have you seen any of the others?” Madison asked the super mutant as she looked down the hallway they were about to turn onto before they had panicked and hid in a room.

            “Haven’t seen the others. Probably with Vanessa or Lili,” Fawkes replied as he slung his Gatling laser back behind him.

            “Don’t worry, Madi, we’ll find them,” Rose said reassuringly as she gently laid a hand on the doctor’s shoulder. She turned toward Fawkes, “Do you mind leading? I’ll take the back,” she offered. She was very pleased when they had run into Fawkes right before they had left the Capital Wasteland. Without him, she was certain they wouldn’t have gotten as far as they have.

            “I can lead,” Fawkes agreed as he moved toward the front. “No one else is up here. We should look on the second floor,” he suggested.

 _She followed in line with the other children. She wasn’t going to waste her breath and try to tell them this was a really bad idea. If they had any type of guards up, they could easily pluck them off one by one right now._ We’re too open. The dark would have given us cover.

_She knew EJ-73 was strong, he was one of the best in the physical aspect. He just wasn’t leader material. She could see it well in the way how he hesitated, just a fraction that unless you hadn’t been looking, you wouldn’t see it. If you didn’t catch his hesitant movements, then you would be able to spot how stiff he now suddenly carried himself. Rose wasn’t surprised when she heard a gunshot and then saw the kid in front of her crumble down._

_They hadn’t tried to hide what they’re objective was. All the kids held their guns out as they had obeyed EJ-73’s orders. ‘Keep your guns out.’_ Since when have we ever? Moron.

 _Guilt washed over her as she heard her teammates let out screams in shock and terror and blindly shoot where the shot came from._ It’s no good from here, our only hope is to get inside the building.

_She looked over to see that EJ-73 was one of the children shooting off in the distance in a blind rage. She squeezed her gun tightly as she continued her march forward. “We have to go! Come on!” she urged them frantically, a part of her was afraid they wouldn’t listen to her, but to her surprise, EJ-73 looked over at her for just a moment and nodded._

_“Come on! Everyone to the building!” he yelled as he took the lead back and ran as fast as he could to the building. Rose waited for a moment before she continued, she had to know who it was that had died. F1-X3, the young girl from earlier._ I should have stopped this. _She thought bitterly as she stared down at the dead body before she joined the others._

_EJ-73 and his closest group of supporters were already in the hospital when she finally made it with a few others that had trailed behind. She may have been one of the smarter kids in the group, but she was definitely not one of the stronger ones. “What are you all doing out here?” she asked the children that cowered a small distance away from the entrance. “They’re going to need someone to cover them!” she exclaimed. She was a mix of shock and rage that they would allow their fears to take over them when their teammates needed them the most._

_“I want two to remain out here,” she began but quickly pointed at the two she believed to do best out here. “N2-S3 and FK-32 will remain outside. Everyone else will go inside with me and we’ll cover EJ-73 and his group,” she ordered._

_The other children gave each other uneasy glances before they unanimously agreed to what she had just told them. The two children positioned themselves at either side of the door, ready to shoot down any that attempted to escape this way, while the others formed around Rose expectantly._

Keep it steady. _She told herself as she forced her hands to stop shaking. She gave a brisk nod to the children that were going to follow her in before she walked in the building with the children trailing behind her. Most of them were untrained, or had had very limited training and weren’t ready for this yet._

            Madison glanced back at Rose before she looked at Fawkes, “If you’re certain that nobody else is up here then I suppose we should move down,” she agreed.

            “Next time we see a hospital, we should totally _not_ go into it because _hey_ why would a hospital ever be empty or safe in this day and age?” Rose asked as she laughed nervously and gripped her gun tighter.

            “Vanessa thought she could find you some prenatal pills in here,” Madison explained to the weary teen.

            “Ah, two-hundred-year-old pills. Just what my unborn child needs,” Rose said as she genuinely laughed. “What do you think, Doc?” she asked once her laughter died down and she gave Madison a serious look.

            “I think that you can do fine without those pills. We’ve survived without them for almost two centuries. I’m almost certain that you’ll do alright without them,” Madison replied as she stepped around the pieces of broken furniture.

            Rose smiled in Madison’s direction but didn’t say anything further as she followed Fawkes and her down the stairs. The trash and broken furniture that had once littered the hallway had finally started to clear away, which made it easier for the two women to walk around. “Remind me to slap Vanessa for making us go in the creepy, ghoul-infested hospital,” she hissed.

            “Or you can find her yourself and tell her?” Mira asked as she and her sister climbed off of a file cabinet that was almost as tall as the wall.

            “I would but…I honestly have no idea where she would be,” Rose confessed before she enveloped the twins in a hug. “I’m so glad you two are okay!”

            “Let’s just continue down, we still have three more to find and one more floor to clear,” Madison said as she pointed down, she wore a tight smile across her face.

            Mila let out an audible gasp as she realized that her beloved furry friend was not amongst the group. “Dogmeat better be okay,” She grumbled in a bitter tone

            “And Lili,” Mira chimed in as they followed Fawkes further down the hall.

            “Am I the only one who’s also worried about Vanessa?” Rose asked quietly as she brought up the rear. She carefully stepped over the boxes and tried her best to avoid the rest of the mess that littered the floor.

            They had just made it to the first floor and were slowly walking down the hallway and were looking for Vanessa, Dogmeat, and Lili. “What is it?” Madison asked when Mila stopped dead in her tracks and stared into the room to her right. She then peered in after her and her eyes immediately widened in shock at what she saw.

 _Something is definitely wrong._ Rose pushed past them so she could better see what had surprised the two so much. “Vanessa?” she gasped and quickly rushed over to her injured friend. “What happened? Madison! Come in here!” she called out for her friend who had been peering into the room.

_They had been quickly following the sound of gunshots, carefully stepping over the bodies of their enemies and friends alike. She counted four of their bodies in total. Based on the fact that half went in and half stayed out when she first came up to the building, she could only assume that EJ-73 and another kid was still fighting._

_That fact alone made her movements become a bit more rushed and sloppy. If they didn’t get their fast enough, the whole group could be killed and she had no faith in her group taking them down alone. She let out a yelp as she slipped and fell, she didn’t have to guess as to what she had slipped on. She tried to get back up but slipped on the blood of some unfortunate person._

_“S-stop,” a girl about her age stammered as she made her way over to Rose and carefully helped her back up onto her feet. “Th-that’s HT-53,” she murmured quietly as she pointed to the source of all the blood once Rose was back on her feet._

_Rose slowly laid her eyes on the dead body of EJ-73’s last living teammate. Panic immediately began to surge through her as her blood ran cold. She wanted to – she had to puke. She gave no warning as she suddenly leaned forward and threw up what was left in her stomach. She was never going to get these images out of her head._

_“We,” she began quietly before she gave a small cough, “We need to hurry!” she ordered with more courage. She wasn’t going to lose anyone else._

            “I knew you’d come,” Vanessa hummed quietly as she grabbed Rose’s hand with her own bloody hand. She had a gash in her arm that looked very similar to that of a human bite and a small pool of blood had surrounded her muscular form. “I… I got bit, see for yourself,” she said and then held up her injured arm with her uninjured arm for Rose to get a better look at.

            “Madison, you need to… This is more of your area of expertise,” Rose said as she backed away from her injured friend. Just the smell of the blood made her nauseous, she had to get away from it somehow. “I-I’m going to go outside,” she said and then quickly fled the room with Mila and Mira hot on her trail.

            “We need to help Fawkes protect Madison and Vanessa!” Mila exclaimed as she expressed her concerns for their friends they had left behind.

            “And we have yet to find Dogmeat or Lili!” Mira hissed as she grabbed Rose’s arm in an attempt to stop her from getting too far away. “We can’t just walk away like that!” she added bitterly.

_Ambushed. They were ambushed. EJ-73 was laid out in the middle of the room. He was alive, but only barely. She didn’t consider the possibility of an ambush until the first shot. She didn’t think as she dodged behind a column and struggled to load her gun back up. “Stupid, stupid, stupid,” she cursed at herself. She should have had it loaded before continuing on. She wouldn’t admit it, but she knew, in the back of her head, that she was also talking so that she could better block out the screams of the fight going on around her._

            “I need fresh air. I just need to breathe in fresh air,” Rose said as she pushed open the main door of the hospital and stepped outside.

            “Dogmeat! Lili! They were out here this whole entire time?” Mila questioned before she enveloped Dogmeat in a tight hug and gave him several kisses.

            “Seems like even animals are smarter than us,” Mira commented dryly before she turned to Rose, “Are you okay?” she asked.

_“Are you okay?” She asked EJ-73 as she dabbed at his wounds._

_“Ssss…” he trailed off as he tried to push her away. “_ Stop. _” He managed to say as he grabbed her hand._

_She let out a groan, “If you don’t let me at least clean you up, you’re going to die,” she warned him as she pulled her hand out of his grasp and continued her previous task of cleaning his wounds._

_He frowned slightly but didn’t try to stop her anymore. “Why?” he asked after silence had enveloped the two for a couple of minutes._

_“Why what?” she asked as she sat the cloth down and looked at him. She narrowed her eyes at him slightly and pushed him back, “Don’t lean forward, you need to rest,” she told him sternly._

_“Why didn’t you just go?” he clarified, “Would have been easier to make it out, that’s for damn sure,” he mumbled as he closed his eyes._

_“Lots of things are easy to do, doesn’t always mean it’s the right thing,” she shot back crossly before she let out a huff. “We should get some sleep before heading back, though. I’ll stay up for the first watch,” she volunteered herself before she got up and walked out of the room that she had dragged EJ-73 to after the battle at the hospital._

 

            “…and next thing I know I’m out of bullets so all I have left is my butcher knife I always carry with me – I knew that thing would come in handy one day – so I hacked one feral’s arm off and closed the door shut tight. I didn’t see that the room I had chosen to hide in was also infested with ferals until one fucking bit me. I wasted no time in hacking his limbs off either, but it hurt like a bitch when you’re missing a chunk of flesh from your dominant arm. Speaking of which, Madi. I’m not going to turn into a ghoul because of this, am I?” Vanessa asked as she wrapped up her story. She held up her right arm and pointed at her bandaged wound.

            Madison looked up from the meal she had been cooking for everyone and stared at Vanessa for a couple of seconds before she responded. “No, that’s not how it works,” she said as she returned to fixing dinner.

            After they had left the hospital, they had traveled for almost a whole day on foot before they found a prewar house that was in pretty decent condition. Although it was a bit too small for them and everyone ended up walking over top of one another, they all agreed that it was better than spending another moment outside.

            The twins had both claimed the upstairs room that had once been a child’s room, while Vanessa and Rose agreed to share the master bedroom for the night. Madison insisted that she was fine on the couch, so long as she had Dogmeat or Lili to protect her in case raiders decided to attack their temporary safe haven.

            At the moment, Vanessa and the twins were sitting at the kitchen table and swapping stories while Madison attempted to make something edible to eat from what last supplies they had left and what she could scrounge up from in the old house. Rose had tried to help in the kitchen, but she quickly realized that she had absolutely no idea how to work in a kitchen so she had retreated to the bookshelf to find a cookbook to study.

            “You could be less boring,” Mira said as Rose sat beside her at the round table and opened up the book.

            “Let her read whatever she wants to read,” Mila said as she gave her sister a light smack on her shoulder.

            “Who knows where I’ll be in the future, I can’t rely on others to cook for me all the time,” Rose said as she began reading the first section of the book that talked about measurements and conversions.

            “Why don’t you read this instead?” Vanessa asked as she grabbed her pack from off the ground beside her and pulled out a tattered journal. “A friend and I made a book of recipes any common wastelander could whip up. It’s probably not as tasty as what you could make in that outdated book, but my cookbook is definitely more convenient,” she said as she handed it to Rose.

            “Do we have a plan or destination?” Mira asked after they sat in silence for several minutes.

            “I want to find out more about these synths, I don’t think they’re as bad as the Brotherhood believes them to be. Once we get to the Commonwealth you all can do your own thing, but I’m going to dig up some more information on them.” Vanessa finally announced her plan as to what she wanted to do when they made it to the Commonwealth.

            Rose closed her prewar cookbook and stared at Vanessa, “I thought the whole reason you left the Capital was so you could avoid the bad people back home? Now you want to go and look for more raiders to piss off?” she asked. She honestly had no desire to seek out trouble, as soon as she made it to the Commonwealth she was going to find the biggest settlement she could and live the rest of her life raising her child. _I’ve had enough adventure for one lifetime._

            “Do you think someone with the middle name Peril can avoid danger?” Vanessa asked in a serious tone.

            “Who the hell names their kid Vanessa Peril?” Mira muttered quietly as she scrunched up her brows and tried to figure out why someone would do that to their child.

            “It was supposed to be Pearl, but there was a typo and the computer autocorrected it to Peril, and my dad never got around to changing it,” Vanessa explained as she gave a small nod. “But we can all agree, Vanessa Peril sounds way cooler than Vanessa Pearl, right?” she asked with a bright smile on her face.

            “Dinner is ready,” Madison announced as she walked past everyone with a small bowl of whatever she had whipped up in one hand.

            “Me first!” Mila squealed as she bolted toward the pot.

            “Don’t push!” Mira yelled out as she gripped on to her chair to steady herself after her sister had pushed past her.

 

            Rose had changed into her pajamas and was in the middle of pulling the blankets back so she could slip into the bed when Vanessa marched into the room they were sharing for the night. “How’s your arm doing?” she asked as she slipped into her side of the bed. After a heated debate during dinner, Rose had been forced to take the side away from the door. Vanessa insisted that she took the side closest to the door in case someone tried to come in. _They don’t_ have _to treat me like this. I can defend myself._

            “Stings like a bitch but at least I still have 95 percent of it. I hope that bastard that took the other 5 percent is happy,” She grumbled the last part bitterly as she began to undress from her makeshift armor.

            “You got lucky,” Rose commented while she yawned.

            “Nah, luck had nothing to do with it. That was just skill that saved my arm, and Dr. Madison Li’s medical skills,” Vanessa replied nonchalantly as she slid into bed beside Rose, careful to not move her injured arm too much.

            “Hey, Vanessa?” Rose asked as she leaned up on one elbow so she could better look at her friend.

            “What’s eating you?” Vanessa asked as she propped herself up on her elbows, she placed most of her weight on her uninjured arm, so she could also look at her friend better.

            “I’ve been thinking about everything. About the Brotherhood, Arthur, and, well, me. Do you think I made the right choice by leaving?” she asked. Ever since she had left the Capital Wasteland with her companions, she had felt awful for not telling Arthur about her pregnancy. _I thought it would be so easy to just let go._

            “Sometimes, Kid, you just have to realize that some things were never meant to be. I get it, you want what you used to have. So do I, I would give anything just to be back in a vault,” Vanessa admitted and then yawned.

            “But… Should I have told him?” Rose questioned as she lowered her gaze, unable to meet her friend’s gaze. Ever since they had long left the Citadel, she had begun to doubt that she had made the right decision.

            “You did what you thought was best at the time. Don’t beat yourself up for past mistakes. Move on and live your life.” Vanessa said before she settled back down. “Try to get some sleep, okay? I want to be gone by the time the sun is up,” she mumbled sleepily.

            Rose sighed and laid back down as well, she couldn’t help but stress over her decision. _We could have been a family._ She immediately shook the idea out of her head. _A family is built on love, not a mistake._


End file.
